50 Glow Up Tips for a Total Mind, Body, and Spirit Transformation
The experiences shared in this article are based on real emotional journeys, but all personal details are anonymized and used with the explicit written permission of the clients. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. We are committed to treating all client stories with the utmost confidentiality and respect.
You know that feeling when you’re scrolling through Instagram, sipping lukewarm coffee, and suddenly think: “I want to glow up, but where do I even start?”
I’ve been there—both as a dating coach helping clients untangle their emotional knots and as a woman who once spent six months binge-watching rom-coms instead of dating.
Glowing up isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about peeling back the layers to reveal the you that’s been there all along.
Let’s dive in—no filters, no judgment, just real talk.
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Mind: Rewire Your Inner Narrative
1. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to Your Best Friend
When my client Sarah confessed she’d canceled three dates because she felt “too awkward,” I asked her to write down the things she’d say to a friend in her situation. Her list included gems like, “You’re hilarious! Who cares if you trip on the stairs?” Be your own hype squad.
Try this: Next time you spiral into self-criticism, pause and ask: “Would I say this to someone I love?”
2. Set Boundaries That Feel Like a Hug, Not a Cage
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about protecting your energy.
One client, let’s call her Maya, struggled with a friend who constantly vented but never listened.
She started saying, “I care about you, but I need to recharge before we dive into this.”
The friendship deepened because Maya stopped resenting the imbalance.
Subtle power move: Use “I” statements (“I need…”) instead of “you” accusations.
3. The 10-Minute Emotional Detox
After a draining day, I light a candle and journal three things that didn’t suck.
Last week, mine were: 1) My barista remembered my order, 2) I finished a podcast, 3) My plants are still alive. Gratitude isn’t cheesy; it’s a reset button.
4. Rewrite Your “Failure” Stories
A client once told me she felt “stuck” after a breakup. I asked her to reframe the story: Instead of “I wasted three years,” she wrote, “I learned what love shouldn’t feel like.” Perspective shifts pain into power.
Homework: Take one past “failure” and list three lessons it taught you.
5. Practice the “5-Second Rule” for Overthinking
If you’re spiraling into anxiety, count backward from 5 and physically move (stand up, stretch, walk to the kitchen). It interrupts the mental loop. I use this before client calls—it’s like a brain reset button.
Body: Honor Your Vessel
6. Move in Ways That Spark Joy (Not Guilt)
Forget “no pain, no gain.”
Dance in your kitchen to Lizzo.
Take a sunset walk and count how many dogs you see.
I once had a client who hated the gym but adored rollerblading—she lost zero pounds but gained a hobby and three new friends.
Pro tip: If it feels like punishment, it’s not self-care.
7. Eat the Damn Cake (and Savor It)
Food isn’t moral.
I used to label foods as “good” or “bad” until I realized that mindset made me obsess over kale salads and then binge-eat cookies.
Now, I eat what my body craves—sometimes salmon bowls, sometimes fries.
The goal? To feel nourished, not virtuous.
Gentle reminder: Your worth isn’t measured in calories.
8. Sleep Like It’s Your Superpower
A client once told me, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Two months later, she was crying in my Zoom room because burnout had her snapping at everyone. We created a “wind-down ritual”: 1) No screens after 9 PM, 2) Lavender tea, 3) Reading a paperback (yes, they still exist). She now calls sleep her “secret weapon.”
9. Hydrate Like You’re a Fancy Houseplant
Keep a cute water bottle nearby. Add lemon, mint, or frozen berries if plain water bores you. My personal trick: I chug a glass first thing in the morning—it’s like waking up my cells.
10. Stretch While You Wait
Stuck in a grocery line? Roll your shoulders. Waiting for coffee? Do a calf raise. Tiny movements add up. One client reduced her chronic neck pain by stretching during TV ads.
Pause & Reflect: What’s one small way you can show your body kindness this week?
Spirit: Reconnect with Your Why
11. Create a “Soul Playlist”
Music bypasses logic and taps straight into your heart. Make a playlist of songs that make you feel invincible, nostalgic, or calm. Mine includes Fleetwood Mac, H.E.R., and that one Shakira song I blast before first dates.
12. Practice Micro-Moments of Mindfulness
You don’t need a meditation cushion. Last month, I was stuck in traffic, late for a client call, and ready to scream. Then I noticed the way sunlight hit my dashboard, creating tiny rainbows. For 10 seconds, I just… breathed. It didn’t fix my day, but it reminded me I could choose how to respond.
Try this: Find beauty in mundane moments—steam rising from your coffee, a stranger’s laugh.
13. Let Go of Relationships That Shrink You
I’ll never forget coaching a woman who was in love with someone who kept her “hidden.” She said, “But when it’s good, it’s magic.” I gently asked, “Can you build a life on ‘sometimes’?” She ended things and later told me, “I finally feel room to breathe.”
Truth bomb: Love shouldn’t feel like a tightrope walk.
14. Volunteer Without Posting About It
Helping others grounds you in purpose. Walk dogs at a shelter, tutor a kid, or donate clothes quietly. The anonymity makes it feel like a secret gift to your soul.
15. Write a Letter to Your Future Self
Seal it in an envelope and tuck it away. Include dreams, fears, and a reminder of how far you’ve come. One client opened hers after two years and cried: “I forgot I used to hate myself.”
Pause & Reflect: What’s one thing your spirit needs to feel whole?
Relationships: Cultivate Connection
16. Ask Better Questions
Instead of “How’s work?” try “What made you feel alive this week?” Deeper conversations build intimacy. My friend group now uses this at dinners—we’ve laughed and cried over the answers.
17. Schedule “Friend Dates”
Adult friendships need intention. Book a monthly coffee or a walk. One client reconnected with her college bestie this way—they now plan trips together.
18. Learn to Receive Compliments
When someone says, “You look amazing,” don’t deflect with “This old thing?” Say “Thank you—that means a lot.” Practicing this helped a client rebuild her self-esteem post-divorce.
19. Cleanse Your Social Media Feed
Unfollow accounts that make you feel “less than.” Follow people who inspire joy—like @goodnews_movement or that grandma who bakes pies with her cat.
20. Send Random Appreciation Texts
“Hey, I still think about that time you drove me to the airport. You’re the best.” These tiny acts strengthen bonds.
Pause & Reflect: Who in your life deserves a “thank you” text right now?
Habits: Small Shifts, Big Impact
21. Start a “Done List”
At day’s end, write 3 things you accomplished—even if it’s “took a shower” or “said no to a toxic request.” Celebrating small wins rewires your brain for positivity.
22. Use the “Two-Minute Rule”
If a task takes less than two minutes (reply to a text, hang up your coat), do it immediately. It prevents mental clutter.
23. Create a “No Guilt” Hobby Hour
Block one hour weekly for pure fun—painting, puzzles, or sorting old photos. A client rediscovered her suppressed creativity by relearning pottery.
24. Practice “Phone-Free Mornings”
No screens for the first 30 minutes after waking. Sip coffee, watch the sunrise, or stretch. One client said this reduced her anxiety and brought back the quiet joy of mornings.
25. End the Day with a Ritual
Light a candle, sip herbal tea, or jot down tomorrow’s priorities. My evening ritual includes rubbing lavender oil on my wrists—a signal to my brain that it’s time to rest.
Pause & Reflect: Which habit could gently elevate your daily routine?
Style: Express Your Inner Spark
26. Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Powerful
Ditch trends. A client tossed all her “uncomfortable-but-cute” heels and skyrocketed her confidence in colorful sneakers.
27. Experiment with a Signature Scent
Find a perfume that feels like “you.” I lean toward woody notes, but clients swear by citrus for energy or vanilla for warmth.
28. Declutter Your Beauty Routine
Keep only what sparks joy. One client donated 22 unused lipsticks to a women’s shelter after realizing she only wore three shades.
29. Try a “No-Makeup Day”
Let your skin breathe. A young client told me, “I finally noticed how cute my freckles are.”
30. Accessorize with Intention
A silk scarf, heirloom ring, or bold earrings—accessories are silent self-expression.
Career & Purpose: Align with Your Values
31. Audit Your Energy Drains
List tasks that exhaust you at work. A client realized 80% of her stress came from pointless meetings—she learned to politely decline.
32. Ask for What You Deserve
Before salary negotiations, list your achievements and industry standards. One client landed a $15k raise: “I should’ve spoken up sooner.”
33. Create a “F*ck Yes” Filter
Ask: “Would I be excited to do this tomorrow?” If not, pause before committing. Fewer regrets, more alignment.
34. Schedule “Creative Dates”
Monthly solo adventures: museum visits, pottery classes, or niche podcasts. Feed your curiosity.
35. Build a “Brag File”
Save praise emails, project wins, or personal breakthroughs. Revisit it when self-doubt creeps in.
Finances: Abundance Mindset
36. Track Spending Without Shame
Use an app or notebook for two weeks—not to judge, but to learn. A client discovered her monthly takeout budget could fund a trip to Paris.
37. Automate Savings Like Paying a Bill
Set up recurring transfers (even $20/month). Watching savings grow builds empowerment.
38. Invest in Learning
Spend coffee money on a Skillshare class or industry book. Self-education pays lifelong dividends.
39. Practice “Mindful Splurging”
Want that $200 sweater? Wait 24 hours. If you still love it (and can afford it), enjoy guilt-free.
40. Redefine “Rich”
Is your wealth free time, health, or doing work you love? Write your definition.
Adventure: Reignite Curiosity
41. Take a Solo “Yes Day”
For 24 hours, say “yes” to safe opportunities: try unfamiliar foods, chat with strangers, or take a new route home.
42. Learn a Useless Skill
Whistle, build card towers, or memorize constellations. Joy needs no justification.
43. Visit Your Hometown as a Tourist
Rediscover familiar places. I once found a park bench carved with my middle school crush’s name—a sweet reminder of younger days.
44. Host a Theme Night
“90s movie marathon” or “global snack party.” A client rebuilt her post-pandemic social circle through monthly themed gatherings.
45. Say “Why Not?” to One Scary Opportunity
Sign up for open mic night, apply for your dream job, or ask your crush for coffee. Growth lives outside comfort zones.
Healing: Embrace Your Journey
46. Write an Unsent Letter
Pour out your heart to someone who hurt you, then burn or bury it. Symbolic release works wonders.
47. Create a “Growth Playlist”
Songs that make you cry but stronger: Fight Song, This Is Me—belt them in the shower.
48. Practice “Radical Acceptance”
Acknowledge what you can’t change, like weather. A client said after losing her job: “I hate this rain, but I’ll learn to dance in it.”
49. Seek Stories of Resilience
Read memoirs, watch documentaries, or interview elders. You’ll see: Resilience is humanity’s superpower.
50. Celebrate How Far You’ve Come
Flip through old journals or photos. The you from five years ago would marvel at your courage.
Final Words from The Darling Code
Glowing up isn’t a race—it’s a series of tiny, intentional choices. Start with what feels easiest: Maybe it’s swapping self-criticism for curiosity, or texting that friend who always lifts you up. Progress over perfection, always.
Remember, darling: You’re not a project to fix. You’re a masterpiece in progress.
With heart,
The Darling Code
PS: Save this to your Pinterest “Glow Up” board, and try one tip before bed tonight. (I vote for the candle + gratitude combo.) Share your glow-up journey with a friend—it’s always better together. 🌟
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vivienne, Relationship Coach & Self Love Coach
Vivienne is a Relationship Coach and Self-Love Coach who believes the key to great relationships starts with YOU. She helps individuals and couples build confidence, set healthy boundaries, and create connections that truly honor who they are.
