Body Language Flirting: 10 Moves That Get His Attention
The experiences shared in this article are based on real emotional journeys, but all personal details are anonymized and used with the explicit written permission of the clients. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. We are committed to treating all client stories with the utmost confidentiality and respect.
A Coffee Shop Moment
One rainy afternoon, a client texted me: “I’ve been sitting across from this guy at the café for weeks. We’ve never spoken, but today… he smiled at me. What do I do next?”
She wasn’t asking for pickup lines or grand gestures—she wanted to know how to signal interest without saying a word.
As a relationship coach who’s spent years decoding the dance of human connection, I told her what I’ll share with you: Your body speaks volumes before you utter a single syllable.
Whether you’re navigating a bustling Brooklyn art gallery or a cozy Seattle bookstore, these subtle, authentic moves can spark curiosity and invite connection.
Let’s dive in.
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1. The Art of the Lingering Glance (No, Not Staring)
Staring at someone for 10 seconds straight? Creepy. Holding eye contact for 3–5 seconds, glancing away softly, then returning with a small smile? Powerful.
Why it works: Research shows prolonged eye contact increases feelings of attraction. But the key is warmth, not intensity.
Client story: A young woman I coached practiced this at a rooftop party.
She noticed a guy admiring the skyline. Instead of approaching immediately, she stood nearby, caught his gaze, smiled, and turned back to the view.
He struck up a conversation about the city lights.
Your playbook:
- Soften your eyes (no laser focus).
- If you’re shy, “glance-retreat-glance” works wonders.
- Pair with a relaxed posture—no crossed arms.
💡 Pause here: Which settings in your life could use a little more intentional eye contact?
2. The “Accidental” Touch (Spoiler: It’s Not Accidental)
A light brush of the hand when passing a menu, a gentle tap on the shoulder during laughter—these micro-moments create intimacy.
Pro tip: Context is everything. At a music festival? A playful nudge during a guitar solo feels natural. In a quiet library? Maybe not.
My story: In college, I once “dropped” my notebook near a guy I liked at a park bench.
He helped me gather the pages, and our hands touched.
Two weeks later, we were sharing fries at a dive bar.
Your playbook:
- Timing matters: Wait for a natural moment, like reaching for the same book on a shelf.
- Keep it brief: A 1–2 second touch is enough to spark interest without pressure.
- Read the room: If he leans away or seems uncomfortable, dial it back.
Client story: A client at a yoga class “accidentally” brushed her crush’s hand while adjusting her mat. Later, he joked about it, breaking the ice.
💡 Reflect: Where could a light, intentional touch feel organic in your daily life?
3. Mirroring: Become His Quiet Dance Partner
Copying someone’s gestures (leaning forward when they do, matching their laugh rhythm) subconsciously builds rapport.
But: Don’t mimic like a parrot. Wait 5–10 seconds before mirroring, and keep it subtle.
Example: If he rests his chin on his hand while talking, casually do the same after a pause.
Science simplified: Our brains have “mirror neurons” that make us feel connected to people who move like us. Use this to your advantage—but don’t turn it into a game of Simon Says.
Your playbook:
- Mirror energy levels: If he’s animated, match his enthusiasm (without overshouting).
- Avoid copying unique habits (e.g., a nervous leg shake).
- Pair mirroring with active listening: Nod and say, “That makes sense,” to deepen the effect.
Client story: A shy client mirrored her date’s relaxed posture during a coffee meetup. He later told her he felt “instantly comfortable” around her.
4. The Hair Flip That Doesn’t Scream “I’m Trying”
Run fingers through your hair slowly—not the frantic “I-have-static” kind. Bonus points if you expose your neck (a biological signal of trust).
Avoid: Over-grooming. Twirling hair every 30 seconds reads as nervous, not flirty.
Your playbook:
- Practice in low-stakes settings: Try it while chatting with a friend first.
- Pair with a smile: A genuine grin distracts from any “scripted” vibes.
- Know your hair type: If you have curls, gently tousle them; if it’s straight, sweep it over one shoulder.
My story: At a friend’s wedding, I flipped my hair while laughing at a joke. The guy next to me later said, “You looked like you were having the best time—I had to talk to you.”
💡 Ask yourself: Does this feel like me? If not, skip it. Authenticity always wins.
5. The Power of Proximity
Stand or sit slightly closer than usual (think: 1.5 feet instead of 3). In group settings, angle your body toward him.
Client story: A client at a book club kept “accidentally” sitting next to her crush. By the third meeting, he asked her out for coffee.
Why it works: Closing physical distance signals openness. But respect personal space—if he steps back, give him room.
Your playbook:
- Use props: Share a menu, phone photo, or book to justify moving closer.
- In groups: Position yourself where he can easily include you in conversation.
- Watch his feet: If his toes point toward you, he’s engaged. If they shift away, reassess.
6. Laugh Like You Mean It (But Not Like a Sitcom Audience)
A genuine laugh lights up your face and makes others feel valued. If he cracks a joke, lean in, smile, and let your eyes crinkle.
Caution: Forced laughter is worse than silence. If his joke flops, a warm “Nice try” smirk works better.
Your playbook:
- Think of something funny: Recall a memory that makes you grin naturally.
- Avoid covering your mouth: Let him see your joy.
- Match his humor style: If he’s dry, a subtle chuckle fits better than a belly laugh.
Client story: A client laughed genuinely at her date’s corny pun. He blushed and said, “You’re the first person who didn’t roll their eyes at that.”
7. The “I’m Interested” Lean
Shift your weight toward him during conversation. Even a 15-degree tilt signals engagement.
Science says: Leaning in increases perceived confidence and approachability.
Your playbook:
- Combine with eye contact: Double the impact.
- At a bar? Rest your elbows on the table and lean forward slightly.
- Avoid looming: If you’re standing, keep a respectful distance.
My story: On a first date, I leaned in while asking a guy about his job. He later texted, “I loved how present you felt.”
8. Speak with Your Hands
Open palm gestures (vs. clenched fists) convey warmth. Use them while telling a story or asking questions.
Pro move: Briefly touch your collarbone when listening—a nonverbal “I’m open to you.”
Your playbook:
- Practice in the mirror: Notice if your gestures look stiff or fluid.
- Avoid overdoing it: Think “conversational,” not “TED Talk.”
- Match gestures to words: Point upward when saying “amazing,” shrug when saying “I’m not sure.”
Client story: A client used hand gestures to describe her hiking trip. Her date later admitted, “I couldn’t stop watching you—you made the story come alive.”
9. The Exit Strategy (Yes, Leaving Can Be Flirty)
End interactions first with a smile: “I need to grab another drink—save my seat?” It creates anticipation.
Your playbook:
- Leave on a high note: Don’t wait until the conversation fizzles.
- Suggest a follow-up: “I’d love to hear the rest of that story later!”
- Use props: “I promised my friend I’d try the cupcakes—be right back!”
Client story: A client excused herself to “check on a friend” at a party. Her crush followed her minutes later to continue their chat.
10. The Follow-Up Glance
After parting ways, look back once. If he’s watching, hold the gaze for 2 seconds. If not, no pressure—you’ve planted a seed.
Your playbook:
- Timing is key: Glance back just before turning a corner or exiting a room.
- Pair with a smile: Make it warm, not intense.
- No staring contests: If he doesn’t notice, let it go gracefully.
My story: After a networking event, I glanced back at a guy I’d chatted with. He caught my eye and jogged over to exchange numbers.
Final Words from The Darling Code
Flirting isn’t about manipulation—it’s about curiosity, playfulness, and self-assurance.
Start small: Pick one move to practice this week.
Maybe it’s holding eye contact with the barista a heartbeat longer, or uncrossing your arms during your next Zoom call.
Remember: You’re not performing. You’re inviting someone into your energy.
With heart,
The Darling Code
PS: Save this to your Pinterest “How to Be Attractive” board! Today’s challenge: Practice the “glance-retreat-glance” technique with someone (yes, even your grocery store cashier). Notice how it shifts the dynamic.
Got value from this article? Pin it to Pinterest for easy reference and help others discover it! 🌟
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vivienne, Relationship Coach & Self Love Coach
Vivienne is a Relationship Coach and Self-Love Coach who believes the key to great relationships starts with YOU. She helps individuals and couples build confidence, set healthy boundaries, and create connections that truly honor who they are.
