11 Undeniable Signs You’re Experiencing True Love (and How to Nurture It)
The experiences shared in this article are based on real emotional journeys, but all personal details are anonymized and used with the explicit written permission of the clients. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. We are committed to treating all client stories with the utmost confidentiality and respect.
You know that moment when you’re sipping coffee on a rainy Sunday morning, scrolling through old texts, and suddenly your chest tightens?
Not because of caffeine jitters, but because you’re wondering, Is this real?
Love isn’t a TikTok trend or a rom-com montage—it’s messy, quiet, and often hides in the corners of everyday life.
Over my decade of coaching singles and couples (yes, I’ve heard it all—from “He texts in ALL CAPS” to “She cries during car commercials”), I’ve learned that true love leaves breadcrumbs. Here’s how to spot them.
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1. You Feel Safe Being “Unfiltered”
True love isn’t about performing.
One of my clients, Clara, once told me she canceled three dates with her now-boyfriend because she was too nervous to “act normal.”
But on their fourth attempt, she showed up in sweatpants, ranting about a work disaster.
His response? “You’re even funnier when you’re stressed.”
Why It Matters: Vulnerability isn’t just about sharing traumas—it’s letting someone see your unglamorous moments. Last winter, I hosted a “no-makeup Zoom call” experiment with clients. The most common feedback? “I realized I’d been filtering my laughter.”
Practical Tip: Pay attention to how you feel after vulnerability. Do you cringe, or do you breathe easier? Try this: Next time you share something raw (“I hate my job” or “I’m scared of aging”), notice if their reaction makes you feel smaller… or seen.
2. Conflict Feels Like a Team Sport
I’ll never forget the couple who fought about dishes for six months—until they realized it wasn’t about chores.
It was about feeling overlooked. True love treats disagreements as puzzles to solve, not battles to win.
Behind the Scenes: During a coaching session, I had them role-play each other’s perspectives. The wife admitted, “I finally heard him say, ‘When you leave plates in the sink, I feel like my time doesn’t matter.’” They now have a “dishwasher loading dance” that’s become an inside joke.
Action Step: Next argument, try saying, “Help me understand why this matters to you.” Then mirror back their feelings: “So when I ___, you feel ___.” Works better than “You’re wrong,” I promise.
3. You’re Okay with Mundane Moments
True love thrives in Target aisles and DMV lines.
My friend Jack knew he was in love when his girlfriend fell asleep mid-conversation during a road trip.
Instead of feeling rejected, he turned down the radio and thought, This is nice.
The Science: Researchers call this “companionable silence”—when shared quiet feels comforting, not awkward. One study found couples who comfortably sit without talking report higher relationship satisfaction.
Reality Check: If you’re constantly planning “Instagrammable” dates to avoid silence, ask: Am I curating moments… or sharing a life? Try a “no-plans Saturday” together. Cook breakfast in pajamas. Wander a bookstore. Notice what unfolds.
4. Their Flaws Feel Human, Not Red Flags
Sarah, a client, nearly broke up with her partner over his “annoying” habit of humming show tunes.
Then she caught herself tapping her foot to Hamilton one night. “It’s not perfect,” she laughed, “but it’s ours.”
A Personal Note: Early in my coaching career, I dated someone who chewed ice cubes loudly. I judged it as “immaturity.” Now? My partner clears his throat before serious talks—a quirk I’ve learned means he’s gathering courage.
Try This: List three quirks that irk you. Now reframe one as a harmless quirk. (Example: “He talks too much about his cat” → “He cares deeply.”)
5. You Prioritize Each Other’s Growth
I once dated someone who mocked my career shift from marketing to coaching.
Contrast that with my current partner, who stayed up until 2 AM helping me practice client scenarios.
True love roots for your evolution.
Client Case: Elena struggled to support her partner’s dream of opening a bakery. Through our sessions, she realized her resistance came from fear of change. They now run a weekend pop-up stall—she handles finances; he makes killer sourdough.
How to Nurture This: Ask, “What’s one goal you’re scared to admit?” Then listen without fixing. Respond with, “How can I help you feel supported?”
6. You Stop Keeping Score
True love doesn’t tally who texted first or paid for dinner.
A client once confessed, “I used to track how often he said ‘I love you.’ Now I just… feel it.”
The Shift: Scorekeeping often masks deeper insecurities. In workshops, I have clients write down every “favor” they did for a week. Then we burn the lists. The relief is palpable.
Try: Let one small “imbalance” slide this week. Did the world end? Probably not.
7. You’re Comfortable with Different Love Languages
Jess felt unloved because her partner rarely gave gifts.
Then she noticed he’d drive 40 minutes to her apartment after night shifts.
His love language? Acts of service. Hers? Words of affirmation.
They compromised: He leaves sticky notes; she lets him nap guilt-free.
Beyond the Quiz: Love languages aren’t static. After losing her mother, another client found physical touch unbearable. Her partner switched to writing her daily haikus. Flexibility is key.
Quick Fix: Take the Love Languages quiz together—but focus on how to adapt, not judge.
8. You Can Imagine a Future… and It’s Flexible
True love isn’t about scripting your future (“Married by 30, kids by 32”).
It’s about aligning values.
One couple I worked with disagreed on having kids but realized their shared priority was building a compassionate home—with or without children.
The Breakthrough: During our session, Diego admitted, “What I really value is family connection, not the city itself.” Maya realized her priority was “living intentionally, not necessarily in the woods.” They rented a cottage 90 minutes from Chicago with space for his mom’s weekend visits. Now they grow vegetables and host family tamale nights.
What This Teaches Us: Shared values (family, intentionality) became their compass—not rigid checkboxes.
My Coaching Tool: I had them separately list:
- “What I think I need” (e.g., specific location)
- “Why I need it” (e.g., family proximity → connection)
Crossing out the first column freed them to brainstorm creative solutions.
Try This: Ask your partner: “What’s the why behind your ‘non-negotiable’?” You might discover shared priorities beneath surface differences.
9. You Feel Energized, Not Drained
Love shouldn’t feel like a part-time job.
If you’re constantly exhausted from decoding mixed signals or soothing insecurities, pause.
As I tell clients: A healthy relationship recharges your battery; toxicity drains it.
Burnout Red Flag: One client realized she’d been scheduling “relationship recovery naps” after dates. We worked on setting boundaries, and she’s now engaged to someone who fuels her creativity.
Self-Check: After spending time together, do you feel lighter… or like you need a nap?
10. You Celebrate the Ordinary
My favorite love story? A couple who celebrates “Taco Tuesday” every week—not with fancy dates, but by eating dollar-store tacos on their fire escape. True love finds magic in routines.
Ritual Building: During the pandemic, I coached a couple who revived their relationship by inventing “Midnight Cereal Mondays.” They’d meet in the kitchen at 12 AM, eat Lucky Charms, and talk about anything except work.
Try This: Create a tiny ritual (e.g., Sunday morning crossword puzzles) and protect it fiercely.
11. You Navigate Life’s Storms as a Team
True love means having a co-pilot when chaos strikes. Two weeks after their engagement, my client (a nurse) faced a double crisis: a lupus diagnosis and her partner’s sudden job loss.
Their Strategy:
She said: “I’ll handle my treatment schedule. Can you take over meal planning? Let’s sit together Sunday to sort out insurance.”
Try the 20% Rule:
- Choose one manageable task to own (e.g., booking lab tests).
- Pick one shared challenge (e.g., budgeting).
- Say: “I’ll cover this part. Can we tackle that together?”
Why It Works: It transforms panic into partnership. As her partner told me: “We stopped drowning and started building a raft.”
Final Words from The Darling Code
True love isn’t a finish line—it’s a rhythm you create together.
Start small: Pick one sign above and reflect on how it shows up (or doesn’t) in your relationships.
Maybe it’s practicing vulnerability or redefining “success.”
Remember, you don’t need to have it all figured out.
Your homework? Text someone right now—a partner, friend, or family member—and say, “Hey, I was thinking about you.” Sometimes love is just showing up.
With heart,
The Darling Code
PS: Save this to your Pinterest “Relationship Advice” board! And if you’re feeling stuck today, try journaling this prompt: What’s one small way I can honor my needs in a relationship right now? You’ve got this. 💛
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vivienne, Relationship Coach & Self Love Coach
Vivienne is a Relationship Coach and Self-Love Coach who believes the key to great relationships starts with YOU. She helps individuals and couples build confidence, set healthy boundaries, and create connections that truly honor who they are.
